Hanlon's Razor should have a health warning

Once again in a fit of utter despair, I've just spent a happy week at an Open University summer school. The entire week was spent making complex ions of Nickel and Copper, mostly phosphines, and drinking heavily in the evenings. I'm now back at work and I'm posting this in order not to have to deal with the 44 emails that people have sent to me despite the fact that I had set up my out-of-office reply telling people that I'm still not (all) here.
I've learned a number of useful new words from my time up there, and very few are chemistry related:

Polydactyl:  Having more toes than is typical (my lab partner's cat is polydactyl)

Noisome:  Poisonous, but unlikely to be very effective as a poison as it smells so bad

Pyrophoric:  Spontaneously combusts in air (incidentally these are the four words that you least want to hear when there is someone from High Command's safety office in the lab)

I've come back and found that all hell has carried on as usual in the office in as much disarray as I left it in, with an additional weeks worth of random garbage piled on top.

I've decided that as well as buying a boat and living on the Thames, I'm also going to emigrate to Niue.

Niue is a Pacific island, roughly 2400 km northeast of New Zealand has a population of less than 2200.  It strikes me as a paradise island, it even has its own Rugby Union, with (I think) six teams. They also have the Hash House Harriers a "beer drinking club with a running problem"

It is also the home of numerous Peka (Flying Fox) and Uga (Coconut Crab, grows up to 4 kg in weight).

I've also just found out that there is a house for sale there, 2 bedrooms (1 en suite) complete with 12' x 24' swimming pool for NZ$ 110,000 (less than £40,000) as well as one of the two vehicle rental places on the island (NZ$380,000 (just over £130,000)).
Admittedly there are the minor problems of typhoons and the fact that there are only two restaurants and two cafes on the island, but I'm sure that I could manage.